You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
