Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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