woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just forgot I was standing up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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