Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
