When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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