Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize