And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
