So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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