someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize