I need help removing her.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
