just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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