8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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