how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
