But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
