One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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