there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
