Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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