it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
