I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
