What a fucking waste of an outfit
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
