i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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