Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have started to decorate penises.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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