Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize