she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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