We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
