That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
