that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize