In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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