she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
