Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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