what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
