I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just google imaged poop.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You pole danced in your parka.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
