Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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