Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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