xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
