I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
