Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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