There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
