I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
