We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
