You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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