Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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