you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
A bitchslap is in order.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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