But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
