just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
