Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
