last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
