Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
