someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
