Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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