i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
