There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
