Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
