so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
