great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
