Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
NoShamevember. You game?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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