He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
