you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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