I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
