i think i have herpe
just one?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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