I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
