We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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