how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
