why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
