girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
