Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
