Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
