Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize